Just A Day Of Torture
by Sunshine Muncher
Summary: So I had a request to write a one-shot fanfic about a few of my favourite female characters getting together on a normal day. They receive an envelope with a mysterious tiny man named Collin, and a letter inside. Mild language and some gross violence, heheh...


**So this is A request from lolixlolly, just a one shot where my favorite female characters, spending a day together get to be cruel to a jerk named Collin.**

**I wrote this all for you lolixlolly! Hope you enjoy!**

**gross and disgusting! :)**

Maya got up smiling as she heard a knock on the door, "Ooh ooh! Is she here?" Gaige shouted swinging over the couch and following the siren to the door. The two had waited all afternoon for their guests, also kicking everyone else out of raiders HQ for this. Salvador had agreed grudgingly and he, Axton, and Zer0 left deciding to hang at Moxxi's. Mordecai followed too.

Lilith came down from the stairs quickly and Maya opened the door. There stood a blonde woman in just whatever everyday clothes, Samus Aran the bounty hunter. "Hey girl! Thought you'd never come!" Samus smiled, "I got held up."

She stepped in closing the door behind her. "So…nice place you've got…"

"I know! It's totally awesome!" Gaige said excitedly.

"Oh yeah!" Samus began I was on my way here and some guy handed me an envelope. He said it was for us."

"Aww sweet! We never get enough mail around here!" Gaige beamed. Maya smiled at Gaige, wondering how she could be so hyper. "Hey why not open it?" Lilith asked. The four girls sat down on the couch and some chairs. Lilith handed them coffee and sat down sipping hers.

"so what have you been doing lately?" Lilith asked the bounty hunter. The woman shrugged, "well, nothing really, I've been taking a break from all this Space Pirate shit. It's starting to annoy me." Lilith chuckled, "I bet."

"so yeah I thought I'd call you guys up, get away for a while, nobody knows, I think." Samus chuckled, "Galactic Federation's gonna be pissed when I'm back. Said they needed me on another planet. I didn't care."

Maya laughed, "that's awesome! We had to kick all the guys out of here. They were so unhappy. I'm sure though, they're all drunk out of their minds right now." The girls laughed.

"So what's in the envelope?" They opened it, and inside was the strangest thing they'd ever seen. Now all women have seen and heard very strange things. But this was just odd, even more so than anything on Pandora.

Maya snorted and covered her mouth, "what the hell's _that_?" "You mean _who _is that!" in front of the four girls, on the table crawled out a tiny man, maybe only an inch high. The man was already short and thin to begin with. He had short brown hair, thick black glasses, the tiny person looked pissed off too.

"Okay," Lilith rolled her eyes, and then she noticed a letter sticking out of the envelope. Curious she picked it up and read it out loud,

_"Dear Vault hunters, the man standing before you, is named Collin, he is a stupid asshole ex of mine and I was hoping that you would kindly take care of him for, a long, long time. _

_P.S. You may be completely cruel to him if you feel like because he deserves it. Thanks! _

_Plus I was the one who shrank him."_

_I'll even pay you five thousand bucks to do this, PLEASE!_

Gaige laughed, "Awesome! I've always wanted to pick on someone like this. The girls smiled thinking of things they could do already. "That was a lie! A TOTAL LIE!" The tiny man shouted. Lilith smiled and leaned over him.

"So Collin, where you from?"

"From Pandora obviously! Why am I even here? This place is such a dump! It totally sucks here and you people smell!"

The girls looked at each other smiling. Lilith had an idea already in her head. She had no idea who this person was who sent this, but they obviously wanted to make this guy's life a living hell.

"So, the siren clapped her hands, first order of business, (Uh oh!) Is some introductions. My name is Lilith, and my lovely companions are, Maya, Gaige, and Samus." Collin stared at Lilith looking angry. But he never sounded angry he just groaned.

"So, said Lilith putting her plan into action, "I accidentally left my sweater at the top of the stairs, I need you to go get it."

"Why me? You have two legs that aren't broken, plus I obviously can't walk up those stairs!" Lilith frowned but leaned closer pulling out a repeater and aiming it at him. "Unless you want to be splattered all over the floor, I suggest doing it."

Collin paled underneath the gun and slowly walked towards the edge of the table grumbling to himself. The girls watched as he slowly crawled down the table. Gaige then had an idea, she kicked the table making it shake violently and Collin fell the rest of the way.

Collin lay on the floor stunned, Gaige smiled, "keep it up big guy!" She threw him a thumbs up and he got up from the dirty ground, dusting himself off and began the impossible climb up the stairs. The girls laughed. They really enjoyed it, but this was only the first hellish request for the little jerk.

After half an hour of the little man trying to climb the first two stairs, Lilith got up, "eh, screw it, I'm getting it myself." She got up at the indignant protest of Collin and fetched the sweater. She picked him up and placed him on the table.

"So what torturous request do you have of me now?" Grumbled Collin.

Maya smiled evilly, "exactly servant! I really have noticed that some of the guys here have been making a mess of the bathroom. The toilet is in really gross shape and we need someone to clean for us." Gaige snickered while Samus's eyes widened in surprise and the biggest smile split her face, but she never said anything.

The little brown haired man sat down on the spot, "No. That is completely disgusting." was all he said. Maya sighed and used her siren powers, she phase locked to man high in the air and he shrieked, yes shrieked, like a little girl. "OH MY GOD LET ME DOWN, LET ME DOWN!"

Maya smiled and set him down, not too gently and he ran off towards the bathroom not wanting to get in more trouble.

"Clean the toilet? That's such a good one!" Gaige beamed. I have a great idea planned for him! I'm gonna talk his ears off, then get him to feed Mordecai's baby Bloodwing!" Samus burst out laughing, "No way! That birds gonna eat him!" Gaige just smiled.

In an hour or so, the Gaige had to get up and run to the bathroom. The curses and shouting from the bathroom had stopped, so Collin must have finished. Gaige had drank too much liquid and was literally bursting.

She ran then stopped as something crunched under her feet. She looked then groaned, "Um guys…I think I killed our little guest…"

"aww seriously?" groaned Maya, "the fun had just begun!" Lilith likewise looked disappointed, but Samus looked at the red smear on the ground horrified. "Eww…that's just gross…"

"God! Dying hurts!" said a familiar little voice on the table. "Collin buddy! Thought you'd be gone for sure! I guess your DNA was scanned into the New-U system!" Maya smiled. "Ugh," Collin groaned, "that hurt, and your feet! I hate feet! That was hideous!"

So this little person hated feet, Samus grinned and rethought her plan.

When Gaige came back complaining how disgusting the bathroom was, she sat down and put her plan into action, first she talked Collin's ear off, bringing up random non-stop vague topics, such as her my little pony collection, and Death Trap, and her whole history!

"Do you like My Little Ponies, I love them I have like all of them, and oh oh! Death Trap is like this amazing robot I built him myself, but my enemy at a science fair with a super-rich dad was like, no bitch I'm letting my totally stupid daughter win this thing! she pushed me and Death trap like went all out on her and FREAKING BLEW HER UP! I was like wow bitch! Don't mess with me! There was blood EVERYWHERE!

Oh and wanna know about my robotic arm? I like needed a place to keep DT so I thought hey! I'll just cut off my own arm and be like, Oh yeah I have a handmade robotic arm…blah blah blah"

As the Mechromancer rambled on with Collin complaining about how his life sucks and blah, blah, blah, Samus exchanged a glance with her friends and said, "Wow, that girl can talk. It's something else…" She trailed off watching Collin and Gaige laughing at Collin who looked as though he wanted to shoot himself.

Finally when Gaige finished Collin sighed, "God, I thought you were never going to quit!" "Not quite!" Gaige grinned, "So one of our friends has a baby Bloodwing and while he's away, he needs someone to feed it, and keep and eye on her.

Collin laughed nervously at this mention of Bloodwing.

Gaige went and fetched the pieces of midget physco that Mordecai requested they feed Bloodwing with. The girls took Collin to where it was cawing from its makeshift nest. "Hey Bloodwing," Gaige smiled, "Come meet our new friend Collin."

Collin was pale with fright as he held the midget pieces up to the towering bird, who took one look at him and decided he would be a tasty meal. Bloodwing snapped her head down. Collin screamed as the bird picked him up and snapped him into her beak.

Maya laughed, so hard she was crying, and Gaige petted Bloodwing on the head. "Dude, gross." Samus said looking at the bloody mess on the birds beak, and they all went and sat back down. Collin respawned looking very pissed, but he had no option about backing out of this. He was in fact frightened of these women, especially Gaige, he shuddered.

Samus sat up almost laughing, "So Collin, since you told us you dislike feet, I've decided for you to wash all our feet and give them a good massage." The girls grinned. This was awesome. By now, Collin had finally learned not to complain.

This was a horrible task, because,

One: being on Pandora, the vault hunters rarely bathed or showered and constantly ran around getting horribly sweaty and filthy.

Two: Gaige was the one with the worst feet, causing Mordecai, who had come back earlier from Moxxi's very drunk and tired, to yell from upstairs, "HOLY CRAP! PUT SOME GODDAMN SHOES ON! IT REEKS WORSE THAN AXTON"S FARTING!" which was an awful, awful thing.

Three: Collin HATED feet, emphasis on hated.

He began the filthy horrible task, especially for him; of first scrubbing toe jam out from the girls toes, then scrubbing them very clean. "Urrgh…this is terrible…"

"Shut up and keep scrubbing shrimp."

When he was done the little man collapsed from exhaustion and being made to clean the worst feet probably in history. "Oh MY GOD! I'M BEGGING YOU! JUST LET ME GO!" Samus sighed as she realized the time, "Ah well, I have to get going now, bye girls! And thanks for the entertaining day Collin!" Collin just grunted and closed his eyes.

Maya, Lilith, and Gaige said their goodbyes and when Samus left, Gaige slammed her mechanical arm on the table and yelled, "THAT WAS GREAT!"

"HEY SHUT UP DOWN THERE! I'm TRYING TO SLEEP!"

"Sorry Mordecai!" Gaige grinned and turned to the now frightened Collin. "Hm…so what will we do with you now?" Lilith had an idea, "I know, for being a jerk, why not send him to Dr. Zed for awhile?" Maya grinned and Collin's face was white again.

OH GOD.


End file.
